just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
