oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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