ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
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I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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