Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
