she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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