Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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