marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize