I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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