You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize