thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
