There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
