I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
