I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
