At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
