just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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