i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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