I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
