"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize