Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize