Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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