I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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