I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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