do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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