Quick, to the slutcave!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When are your genitals available?
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