Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
