i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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