Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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