Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
