Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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