drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
