Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
