So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
