Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
