Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
