Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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