you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you win again, gameday.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
