Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
