He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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