youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
