she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
my penis made a compromise with my morals
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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