well I can't set my house on fire every night
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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