dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
