Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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