would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
