Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
