I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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