Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She needs sedatives and a leash
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
