Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
