do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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