i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
