I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
