You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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