Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
