the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
