I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
